Honesty is offered up by Cheap Trick by the title of their latest album. It’s all too easy to knock a band whose last great album released last century, but this is taking the fun out of it. All Washed Up? They sure are. But that has been the case for some time and only those who retreat into the world of old school rock and roll will have all that much interest in this latest release from the once-talented rockers. Nostalgia blinders on and a desire to love anything the band puts out from now to the end of time, that’s what you need to truly enjoy this latest effort from Cheap Trick. Their writing has never been all that astonishing and much of what they do is based predominantly in the exceptional instrumental style. But when that stylishness is removed, what is left? A barebones assembly of rock and roll basics which would’ve sounded dated when Cheap Trick were at their peak, that’s what.
All Washed Up is an album comprised of songs Cheap Trick themselves would’ve rightly turned their nose up at had it not been for a need to ride the rose-tinted merry-go-round. They say don’t judge a book by its cover, but that rule doesn’t apply for albums. This sort of slop is a remarkable low, but so too are the song titles, the songs themselves, and the creative process which has dragged out the likes of Rocking with the Band, Dancing with the Band, and Wham Boom Bang. These are songs which would be guffawed at in a cartoon where a fictional band shows up in an unlikely town to play a show, only to be usurped by a celebrity guest. Rock and roll standards need an extra layer to them. Such is the progress of the genre, an influence Cheap Trick was part of, and yet seems to forget about across All Washed Up. They have a turgid, static punk-adjacent sound to them, like they heard Iggy and The Stooges next door and decided that would be enough for their next album.
From cringe-inducing lyrics of wanting to be touched on the title track to meandering instrumental touches throughout the album, All Washed Up is a misery for those wanting more from rock and roll. Those who enjoyed Bryan Adams and Bon Jovi’s recent efforts will find themselves right at home in this rot, though. Vagueness prevails, and when Cheap Trick can work their way towards a specific reference point, it usually means detailing a predictable topic. It’s the listener’s time. To do what is irrelevant, it is simply your time, as All Wrong Long Gone notes. Listeners should expect far more from veterans of the genre. Embarrassingly plain rock riffs are clear enough on songs like The Riff That Won’t Quit, a song about genres the band want to play, but never hint at on All Washed Up.
A completely gutless piece of work. Not a moment of interest, just plodding, safety-first music made for those who cannot differentiate their love for a band from their blind acceptance of whatever they release. Unremarkable at the best of times, though the sole high point comes from a rather nice and flourishing guitar solo on Bet It All. It adds nothing to the proposed moodiness of the song, deflating it entirely, but at least there are signs of life. Trouble for the rest of the songs is unavoidable, even with solid vocal work from Robin Zander. He sings of nothing, no real meaning behind these songs, and what you can gauge is predictable, inevitable, rock and roll staples. Cheap Trick were once a cornerstone of counter-culture rock, a wild band with a magnificent ear for the finer details. No longer is that the case. All Washed Up is a flat album, ignorant of the band’s history and the progression of rock music.
