With Christmas just around the corner and an ever-growing pile of work to piece together for the new year, one must ask themselves whether spending an hour listening to a Steven Seagal record is worth their time. Yes, in this instance. Absolutely. Considering the former weight the name Steven Seagal held, the turn of the century not so kind to the action star, it is still insane to see Stevie Wonder appear on this record. How the Under Siege star pulled this artist or that, we will never, hopefully, know. But the Vladimir Putin pal and Russia-US Cultural Links head dabbled in the art of music, and decided it was for him, even after this miserable release. Songs from the Crystal Cave are better left buried within the ravines they were dug up in.
Opener Girl It’s Alright may be riddled with troubling simplicity but what may come as a surprise is the relatively charming voice Seagal has. Problems are further down the line, and for those who remember Strut, godspeed to you. Before this, though, are some utterly primitive yet well-placed pieces of a quality expected by an on-screen action hero. Mark Knopfler-like guitar work on this opener is surely not by the hands of the Aikido master. Stunningly acceptable work throughout, until the inevitable “me wan da punani” line, etched into the history books by Strut. This is why we are here, after all. You could go through life without the rest of Songs from the Crystal Cave but miss out on the surprisingly tender and well-mixed effort found on Don’t You Cry. Music is the language of the people, after all, the aptly titled Music explains.
Double bill My God and Lollipop is where Seagal may start to lose the majority of his listeners. Songs which allege his God is greater than the others, a song immediately followed by a funk beat of Seagal asking his listeners to “giddy up” as the move toward roots rock and cultural appropriation grows. Terrifying stuff, like listening to the wheels of a car screech. Seagal tries to channel his crooning Bob Dylan impression on Not for Sale, and strangely enough, it works. Lyrical fumblings are constant but his vocal strengths vary with an intense and terrifying range. Puzzlingly articulate at times yet following Strut the wheels of Songs from the Crystal Cove come off and an utterly fascinating experience unfolds.
Whatever creative process led Seagal to create a roots rock, a bluesy experience which stretches over an hour long. Long may the Seagal spark continue. Utterly fascinating yet surprisingly dependable and interesting – well-layered bits and pieces and collaborative efforts with Lt. Stitchie bring a rapid style to this one. Goree is a miserably forgettable experience and album closer Light does Seagal and friends no favours. Though he may have Stevie Wonder’s name stapled to one of these tracks, there is little impact from the living legend. My God does not benefit from Wonder, and Seagal does not truly benefit from this album, which is fascinating and dull in equal measure. Songs from the Crystal Cave will be a niche little record for those who are desperate to hear how the star of Hard to Kill sounds. Alright, is the answer.
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