Credit to Sylvester Stallone where it is due, he is trying desperately hard to pump any level of interest into Samaritan. Portraying the long-forgotten comic book hero and presenting him as a man who appears to have cheated death, there are clear angles for this dingy superhero piece to pick up on. Much of it relies on Javon Walton, the newcomer portraying Sam Cleary, a kid clearly suspicious of the extracurricular activities of his neighbour. Not quite the return to form Stallone may have been pursuing following the farewell tour he gave to John Rambo and Rocky Balboa, but a certain step in the right direction to portraying something new, challenging and unique.
A shame, then, that nothing around Stallone’s abilities here feel all that interesting. Cell-shaded introductions provide an immediate Kick-Ass feel. That is fundamentally fine and well-worked, but it is clear that director Julius Avery is wanting this piece to be taken seriously. That may prove difficult, as it did for Overlord, but the effort is there. A need to stand out against the maddening crowd of DC and Marvel gives the unfortunate, inevitable effect of blunder-filled comic book moments that feel better suited to the likes of Super and that era of damnable, poor-quality edginess. Unfortunately for Avery, he has rounded off the edges of his piece and provided a kid-friendly superhero piece littered with horrendous writing.
Pilou Asbæk’s second collaboration with Avery must be out of loyalty rather than a promise of quality. Samaritan reeks. It is a terrible, wounded creation that has nothing inspired or interesting to it. Hopeful momentum reaches the core of it, that belief someone great is still out there and providing some good in the world. Varyingly obvious and equally dull twists and turns mark that as far from the truth, but by then the interest has waned in this over-the-top disaster. Revolutions, bleak scenarios, it all feels a little too Joker but without the grating rip-off that came of The King of Comedy. Superheroes are at the heart of everyone, it appears Samaritan is saying. That should be obvious from its titular allusions to the Good Samaritan. Despite that simplicity, there is a horrendous lack of quality deep within Samaritan, from its sluggish action to its horrific setpiece showdowns.
Clumsy, inarticulate and just plain dull, Samaritan does very little with how much promise it has. The chance to provide something new and exciting is quickly turned into a muddled piece where characters forget they have weapons, are charmed by going up and down lifts and family drama provides a clumsy core to the CGI-infested terrors. An ugly movie, one that reduces its values to a simple tale of good, bad, turned to good and bad again. Samaritan is an insult. It projects a horrendously basic story of back-and-forth gangs and warfare with absolutely no regard for the audience and their ability to think. Handholding, disastrous pieces like this are, fundamentally, part of the problem with the superhero filler that comes between the laughable lack of edge DC hold and the Funko Pop commercialisation of Marvel. Neither are good, but at least they have trust in their audience, unlike Samaritan.
