Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile Review

Anthropomorphic cretins are ten a penny these days. Clifford, Lyle, Puss, Stuart, Remy. There’s half a penny worth there. Three of those would not be missed, the remaining two would find themselves locked in a battle, a sword-wielding cat and a rat with a penchant for recipes. At least Clifford was big and Stuart was an orphan. Interesting backstories presented themselves to those fuzzy friends. Except for the scaly miscreant at the heart of Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile, a New York-living monster who rivals Paddington for levels of annoyance. That is likely more because of Shawn Mendes’ vocal performance and presence here than it is anything to do with the soppy, drained Wes Anderson appeal of Paddington 2. Javier Bardem would have loved that. 

Instead, he dresses as a supermarket magician that appears to have some disconnect from the world around him. Rattling his way the halls behind the stage and presenting an impressive collection of pigeons, that appears to be not enough for the man chasing his dream of The X Factor-like fame. Happenstance encounters with a googly-eyed crocodile, who looks more like the eponymous hero of the Gex video game franchise than anything else, are as absent of fun as they are grating. Josh Gordon and Will Speck’s direction attempts to deploy a sense of light wonder and mystery to those tones of magic and beyond, but it does very little of use. Colourful costumes are not so colourful when the muted tones that surround them drown it all out.  

Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile never escapes that wannabe-Paddington effect. Neighbours that apply their name to their personality, fluffy characters that surround the new kids on the block. Mr Grumpy (Brett Gelman), has no secrets with his attitude. Constance Wu and Scoot McNairy are the confounded couple moving into the new neighbourhood and of course, they have a youngster, Josh (Winslow Fegley), who inevitably discovers a dangerous animal proven safe by his attire. Because of all that and the simplicity Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile pursues, it feels insufferable. Competently performed, but competence is just a synonym for adequate. When so many animal-focused features are pushing further and further for the sake of their audience, playing it safe with this Bardem and Mendes-led feature is a smack in the mouth of audiences rightly expecting more.  

Kooky characters are the point of Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile, but when everyone is a creative wonder it is hard to find much uniqueness in those meant to be. Mendes is naturally deployed to sing his way through some fairly bang-average animated segments that adapt NWA’s Express Yourself. Express what, though? Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile is clear with its desire for a message but is unclear on how to get there when its massive cast of Paddington meets Sesame Street caricatures are thrown together. Whoever thumped some sense into the minds of those who own the rights to the Croc PS1 series must be very happy indeed that crocodiles are now set to be the must-have pet of the year. Grizzly bears, crocodiles, giant red dogs, the safest trio of animals around. Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile is a safe and dull movie.