Tag Archives: Antonio Banderas

Uncharted Review

Marky Mark must be desperate to recruit a new wave of the Funky Bunch as he traipses around Uncharted, attempting to appear presentable in a slate of future releases and past films that are questionable at best. Wahlberg has not had the greatest run of form, but nor has starring partner for this Ruben Fleischer-directed feature, Tom Holland. Outside of his meandering and acceptable application of Spider-Man, Holland has churned out dud after dud after dud. Uncharted is another dud, but one that is far beyond that of the horrifically timed Cherry or the entirely redundant Onward. That is progress for both Marky Mark and Holland, who try to champion the video game adaptation genre as best they can.

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Shrek 2 Review

Sequels struggle to improve where the first left off. Shrek had a successful, happy ending for its characters and had enough novel charm to it that it worked as a strong, efficient concept. Pulling punches at Pinocchio and other fairy-tale creatures, it knew the ground it was working on was original but limited. Doubling down on that for a sequel would not be possible. They had the characters, and they were surprisingly endearing. Shrek 2 knows that, hence why they are fired straight into the limitless setting of Far Far Away. It would’ve been irresponsible to restrict these refined, good-natured characters to a swamp and a forest, especially when there are pop-culture gags to be harvested elsewhere. 

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Shrek the Third Review

Detailing the fall from grace the side-villain of Shrek 2 had, Shrek the Third follows on the story of a man who believes himself to be the rightful prince. His life is tormented by that titular ogre, who has changed from swamp demon to beloved hero and royalty. Heir to the throne and not happy about such a change, much of this third in the quadrilogy of the Shrek series depicts an unhappy lifestyle for the protagonist. He is far, far away from the life he used to lead, and the toll is taking comedic mental effect. Setting out to find the next in line, Shrek (Mike Myers) and the reliable gang he has collected over the previous two instalments set off to find distant relatives who would be better suited to the royal lifestyle.

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Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever Review

Performers looking to break into the mega millions of Hollywood must first brace themselves for cataclysmic horror shows they hope audiences will forget. To remember Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever is a bold and challenging task to take on, for nobody involved in this action nonsense from the early 2000s would want it to be remembered. Surely, Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu would be far happier if this disaster from director Wych Kaosayananda was scratched off of their portfolio. Too bad, though, as for those that suffered through Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever, they’ll quite rightly remember how dreary, strange and monotonous a time it was.  

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The Skin I Live In Review

Are you comfortable in your own skin? Stripped back to nothing but our personalities and experiences, who do we turn into? Exposed to the blinding horrors of reality, we engage with and try our best to cover up the fragile and the meaningful with broad strokes of costumes and larger than life experiences. The Skin I Live In is an oddity of passionate filmmaking and dark, foreboding secrets. We all have secrets, but I’m sure none of us out there have secrets large enough to keep secluded in our hidden laboratories or villas. Nor do we hire staff to keep those secrets from revealing themselves. Still, if we had the money or need to do so, we most probably would.

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